Lily Girls Magazine

By Kristi Rabenhorst

I’m slightly fearful as I begin to write this that it will be interpreted as the same old instruction you’ve been told at least 57 times. As soon as the dreaded ‘m’ word is used we go into skimming mode and our minds choose to block out what we’re being told because we know we’ve already been told it and quite honestly we don’t want to hear it anymore. But please, stay with me here…I’m not going to tell you what clothes you can and can’t wear and how long your skirt needs to be in order to not distract a boy too much.

I’m sitting in Barnes and Noble as I type this out and of course I stopped by the magazine section before choosing my seat in the café. I’m always interested to find out what is holding the attention of typical girls my age and what all I am currently clueless about. Not to my surprise there was the normal range of Taylor Swift, Jennifer Aniston, a plethora of bridal magazines and of course the grunge look on at least one cover. I realize that to say something contrary to the typical magazine cover doesn’t go over well but I’m going to try anyway.

In case you haven’t figured out what the ‘m’ word is let me clue you in…modesty. But you have to keep reading…because I don’t want to approach it the way this topic is usually approached. This whole article series is called I Love Being a Girl. And this is one more reason why I love being a girl. Throughout this series my goal, Lord willing, has been to give some instruction on what is appropriate as a girl and where God’s Word gives us specific guidelines on what isn’t ok.

1 Timothy 9-10 states, “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.”

Before any conclusions are drawn, I should tell you that pearls are my favorite jewelry, I often throw a braid into my hair when I don’t feel like spending much time on it, and every once in a while I’ll splurge on spending money on something that I probably should have waited for to get marked down. But from this passage I want to focus on Paul’s instruction of modesty and what that really means.

Modesty is a word that we seem to automatically apply to clothing and how we dress. However, the Women’s Evangelical Commentary defines modesty as “in good taste, respectable, honorable.” This definition clarifies that modesty is not a term to apply directly to clothing but instead a term that should describe all areas of our life as a woman seeking after God. If we are striving to be like a holy God, then we should be striving to have every facet of our life to reflect that.

Just the other night I had a fancy work dinner to go to. I loved getting to pick out a dress, twirl my hair (my word for ‘curling’ my hair), and throw on a pair of heels. I love being a girl and getting to dress up. But even when I dress up and attend fancy dinners, I still have to strive for modesty. And by modesty I don’t mean only in my clothes but in my whole demeanor. I want to carry on conversation that is ‘in good taste’ and be a ‘respectable’ woman that means what she says and holds to her values. If I’m trying to fit in with people and laughing about something that I know really isn’t funny, then I’m choosing to put my selfish desires above the Lord’s instruction. If I’m choosing to wear a dress that draws more attention to my body than it does to honoring God, or if I know my dress will cause people to assume something inhonorable about me, then I’m not choosing to be modest.

The same commentary gives this explanation as to why Paul may have included these two verses in his instruction: “Some of the women may have been dressing in a more sensual manner reminiscent of their former pagan lifestyles, or more probably some of the wealthier women, who could afford to own the accessories Paul named, were dressing in a way to reflect their superior social status.”

I know it seems unfair, but I never want my clothes or actions to automatically categorize me in someone else’s eyes as pagan, or not honorable to the Lord. I realize we can’t be so focused on pleasing others that we lose sight of focusing on pleasing the Lord; however, we also have to be considerate enough of those around us who don’t know the Lord to set a good example for them. Am I making sense on what the word modestly really means? It’s not about your skirt being a certain length or your shirt being a certain size or wearing turtlenecks, but instead its about us, as girls striving to be Godly, choosing to reflect the Lord in all areas of our life. Obviously clothing is included in this because we get dressed everyday and we choose what we are going to wear. Whether we like it or not, what we wear is often going to set an impression of us to someone else. And again, its not just clothing that reflects our modesty but its our whole demeanor and what we choose to associate ourselves with and where we choose to spend our money. I’m not saying you can’t wear your favorite pair of pearls or get the new outfit you’ve been wanting, but I do think we have to be mindful to Paul’s instruction of being conscious of those around us and realize the impression of Christ we’re setting for them.

Let me know what you’ve found to be helpful in choosing your clothes! Or maybe what has been frustrating about choosing clothes to wear. Have you ever set a totally wrong impression to someone that wasn’t a Christian and were able to learn from it?? Has someone noticed that you live your life differently than most girls your age? Let me know what your experiences have been! And, as always, give me any suggestions you’d like to see in a future article of I Love Being a Girl!

Write me at Kristi@lilygirlsmag.com!